Dealing with my anger and learning to let go

I find it strange how I often forget very important key moments in my life which inspired me and led me onto the path which I seem to be on.

The idea for the bike trip came about when I discovered the internal corruption I felt lingering inside me as a result of what society seems to value and be of importance.

I too valued certain things like money, comfort, luxury, importance, attention, status, and acknowledgement. I was entrapped by believing I should strive for such things in order to measure how successful my life was.

About two weeks ago I returned from my first bike tour which was to be a test for the real tour. A tour which I hope will allow myself to once again really break free from myself and discover the world without my own preconceived ideas of what is out there.

On returning from the first trip I put the movie “Into the Wild” on. The plan was to watch it while writing a blog post but my attention quickly swayed towards the movie and I had to stop and watch it once again.

While watching it I remembered that corruption that I was experiencing when the spark for the bike trip had ignited.

The sickness of society often makes me forget to seek out that which I believe is most valuable. Discovering what I believe is true and worthy of being called “a good life”.

So many distractions in the world. Many trying to convince us we are free, yet we are all dependant on the system mankind has created. It is my belief that the system I was brought up into [western world ideologies], portrays itself as a system to grant us freedom, yet from my observations and experiences it seems that all it truly does is take the freedom away from us.

This reminded that I am angry.

I am angry at the human species which believes it is superior to all other animals.

I am angry that most humans believe that the world is our bottomless pit to consume all we can from it and do as we please even if it jeopardises everything else around it. Which I believe will result in the end our own survival as a species on this planet.

But mostly I am angry at myself. I am angry that my brain wonders off to all of these places and I cannot allow myself to just be as I once was able to do. I have forgotten many things that I realised when I experienced what I genuinely believe was an enlightening few months.

When dealing with the anger I have towards humanity, this short bicycle tour that I set out on gave me the opportunity to meet so many nice people which has brought back some hope. There are good people out in the world. Even if they are fewer in number when compared to all selfish inconsiderate behaviours of people I’v encountered throughout much of my life.

This very point is part of why I could identify with “into the wild”. As once the protagonist gets literally trapped in the wild and finds himself at the end of his life, it is then he realised that happiness was only real to him when it was shared with others.

Similarly, it was the people I met during the short tour which made the trip such an amazing experience. The sharing of experiences, the sharing of stories, the sharing of food and that sense of community which flowed in such intimate manner with strangers.

The irony of all of this is that I believe that attachment to such things like positive community feeling and good experiences or whatever, is what makes any person behave in a selfish and inconsiderate way. The fear of losing that sense of peace which can be acquired in those positive stimuli is what makes us act in unpleasant ways towards anything we perceive as threatening to that peace we have acquired.

As humans I believe anything that anybody does is an attempt to find some sense of peace. Be it through fulfilling a dream, acquiring financial stability, retail therapy, fighting for social equality, helping those in need (based on what the helping individual believes all humans need), gaining social favour, political power and so on. All we do, we do because in some way we believe it will fulfil us in some way. So we fight against anything which will stand in our way from achieving what we believe will give us this inner peace.

Now if I look back and think at all my anger, it is being held there by my own doing for not allowing myself to accept that which we are. We are all animals playing the "human game". Just as the cat plays the "cat game" and the dog plays the "dog game". Do I get angry at a dog for barking with joy and wagging its tail? Do I get angry at a cat for doing all the funny silly cute things it does? Do I get angry at a bird because if has a beak and it can fly? For me it's a big no for all 3.

So since I understand clearly that humans are simply being humans playing the human game, then I also understand that no one behaves in an unpleasant manner for no reason. Which means that all the things that anger me are just a big waste of my limited conscious time in this life time. It is time to stop trying so hard and allow myself to just be. It is time to focus my attention on the more positive things in life, and the more pleasant situations. Stop judging everything around me as good or bad and accept that it is what it is. Accept my anger, feel my anger, process my reasons for being angry and then let it go.

“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts.

---

I am happy to share my journey and thoughts and can only discover more about what I think by hearing other opinions and views on certain matters. So I do invite you comment or e-mail your views in order to help me on my journey on Discovering the Point.